Overcoming Adversity
Heroic Choices empowers tweens to seek a better tomorrow.
by Stephanie LeBlanc

PARENTGUIDE News September 2005

A resident of Queens, NY, 12-year-old Rachel Mendoza, was deeply affected by the sudden deaths of her aunt and uncle. According to her, the traumatic event had left her feeling sad, “like a Scrooge,” and she struggled with moodiness.
Staff at the Center for Hope in Queens told Rachel’s family about Heroic Choices (HC) and how the program offers children like Rachel practical assistance through resiliency training and long-term mentoring relationships that begin with a two-day retreat experience.
It was at the October 2003 retreat that Rachel, attending with her Mom and two cousins, met Rosally Sapla, a freelance marketing consultant from New York City. They took an instant liking to each other. Not only do they share similar backgrounds and look so much alike that people assume they are related, they soon discovered they have many hobbies in common, including a love for food and fashion.

So when it was time to match new mentors with their mentees, it was no surprise that Rachel and Rosally were each other’s first choice. “I was so happy when I found out Rosally would be my mentor,” Rachel says.

And it wasn’t long into the relationship before Rosally realized her life was changing as well. “Being a mentor is better than I expected,” she says. “Rachel is incredible, sweet, caring and articulate. I’m the luckiest person in the world.”

The Heroic Choices program helps build resiliency in children ages 8-12, who have experienced trauma such as physical, mental or sexual abuse; the loss of a loved one; or violence in the home or community. The program helps children believe in themselves so that they bounce back from setbacks and emerge stronger than before, prepared to deal with whatever lies ahead of them. To aid traumatized children, Heroic Choices does not focus on reducing these problems and risks, but rather on building strengths and equipping each child with protective assets.

Heroic Choices does so through carefully developed “resiliency training.” During a 12-month period, the program provides children with the skills and awareness they need to become resilient. HC also provides one parent/guardian and their chosen mentor with tools and knowledge to support the children now and later in life, based on the concept of the Search Institute’s “40 Developmental Assets.” Through extensive research determining what enables children to become healthy, productive and responsible, Search has documented these 40 attributes, or assets, which are tangible, common-sense, positive experiences and qualities essential to the healthy development of children into adulthood.

Not only do Rachel and Rosally have fun when they’re together, Rosally works to incorporate the concepts of the 40 Developmental Assets into Rachel’s life, and move her further toward resiliency. For instance, they always plan ahead for their two-hour Saturday meetings (“planning,” asset No. 32). Activities vary from Rosally teaching exercises and stretching techniques— what Rachel calls “yoga-like moves”— to arts and crafts (“creative activities,” asset No. 7).

Rosally also takes time to teach Rachel positive values and ethics that she will likely employ throughout her lifetime (“positive values,” asset No. 6). Rosally frequently uses books and other materials to reinforce the values.
And, of course, they talk— a lot.

“I talk to Rosally about all kinds of things,” says Rachel. “I feel like we’ve known each other for years. Before Heroic Choices I was sad and always moody; now I am happier.”

Rosally has expressed similar sentiments. “Being a part of Heroic Choices is like being part of a whole new family,” she says. “It is a community of wonderful people who truly want to do some good in the world. I have always wanted to give back and now I finally am.”

Heroic Choices held its seventh resiliency training retreat May 13-15, 2005 at the Harrison Conference Center in Plainsboro, NJ. A record 77 children from all over New Jersey and New York attended their very own life-changing experience that weekend.

Throughout retreat periods, attendees participate in various asset-driven sessions. The child, caregiver and/or mentor then develop an action plan to serve as a road map throughout the next 12 months for the child. Focusing on three or four key assets that need further development, the action plan guides the child, caregiver and/or mentor toward positively shaping these assets, helping ensure that children involved adhere to an empowering lifestyle.

Following the resiliency weekend retreat, caregivers and mentors meet with the children on a regular basis. Using the asset-based curriculum’s handbook, workbook and the child’s asset action plan, the children and their adult counterparts work together on developing the already identified asset areas in need of positive reinforcement for resiliency. Heroic Choices also produces a bi-monthly publication in which caregivers and/or mentors receive helpful tips on activities and ways to strengthen asset development in the children.

The Heroic Choices staff stays in touch with participants through ongoing communication, resiliency training sessions, special activities and field trips for the children’s healthy development. At the close of their yearlong work on individual action plans for asset building, the children graduate from the program in commemoration of their success.

Located in Princeton, NJ, Heroic Choices was originally founded as The Todd M. Beamer Foundation in memory of Todd Beamer, one of the heroes aboard United Flight 93 on September 11, 2001. Todd’s strength of character, faith and courage continue to inspire the mission of Heroic Choices, as the program helps children make strides every day to overcome adversity, navigate life’s obstacles and grow to become healthy, responsible, productive adults.