Under Four Feet and Over
Scheduled
Are the wealth of activities available robbing
your kid of a childhood?
by Sarah Ellis
PARENTGUIDE
News March 2006
C hildhood is exhausting! Especially
for a kid like Michelle Wie, the six-foot,
15-year-old golf phenom that can make a country
club member quake in his Dockers with her
300-yard drive. Wie, who began playing golf
at the age of 4, became the youngest person
ever to take on the men in a PGA Tour—
a feat she achieved by her 13th birthday.
And while she works out daily, practices for
three hours after school and eight hours on
the weekend, Wie also finds time to finish
10th grade with close to straight As and maintain
an active interest in reading, drawing and
shopping. In the next few years, she hopes
to be accepted to Stanford University, play
in the Masters and get her drivers license.
While Wie’s talent is truly exceptional,
her hectic schedule is becoming more and more
commonplace among children. Today, parents
act as personal assistants and chauffeurs,
coordinating their child’s hectic roster
of activities with everything from softball
and singing to archery and art class. And
as schedules intensify, family time, academics
and unstructured play are sacrificed, ultimately
creating a generation of burnt-out kids prone
to anxiety, eating disorders, depression and
substance abuse.
In his book, The Over-Scheduled Child:
Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap (St. Martin’s
Griffin), child psychologist Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld,
M.D., explores the alarming trend of “hyper-parenting.”
He notes that over the past 20 years while
unstructured children’s activities have
declined by 50 percent and family dinners
have declined 33 percent, structured sports
time has near doubled. Rosenfeld believes
that “While activities can be wonderful
and enriching, today’s ‘over-scheduling’
leaves families so fully booked, they don’t
have time to be together comfortably, exploring,
discussing, learning and having fun.”
One parent, whose 11-year-old son takes karate
lessons three times a week, plays tennis and
the cello, and is actively involved in his
synagogue’s youth group, claims that
his son’s active schedule keeps him
“out of trouble and off the couch.”
She adds: “But I also want to make sure
he’s exposed to a diverse array of activities.
That stuff goes a long way when it comes to
admissions boards.”
According to Dr. Rosenfeld, “Many parents
fear that if they don’t fill a child’s
every moment with enrichment activities, their
children may not be able to hold their own
in a world where you are measured by what
you do, rather than who you are.”
Although some children use the television
to zone out after school, other families find
motivation in programming like Fox’s
American Idol or UPN’s America’s
Next Top Model, which epitomize adolescent
super-stardom and encourage kids to go on
auditions or enroll in acting classes. This
alarming idolization of fame is captured in
Bravo’s hit reality series, Showbiz
Moms & Dads, which spotlights real-life
stage parents and their aspiring children.
And while an increasing number of kids strive
to break into the entertainment industry,
the misdeeds of the celebrity child are so
common that they have become a cliché,
giving us such staples as the E! True Hollywood
Story to serve as cautionary memoirs. As we
see generations of child stars and athletes
such as Mary Kate Olsen, Macaulay Culkin or
Oksana Baiul fall prey to the pitfalls of
fame, we are left to wonder why any parent
would ever allow their child to become so
intensely involved at such a young age?
Dr. Rosenfeld finds, “Ambitious parents
believe that you have to start enrichment
early and combine it with intense devotion.”
Jessica Schoenholtz, a talent manager at JMM
Talent, a New York-based talent management
company that represents children and teens,
says “Kids who get involved with anything
professionally, whether it be a sport, dance,
acting or modeling, sacrifice time with friends,
sit in the car for hours and do homework in
locker rooms, making it difficult to maintain
the perspective of just being a kid.”
Aside from the psychological and social impact,
there are physical consequences to intense
training that could result in lifelong injuries.
A recent New York Times study by over two
dozen sports medical doctors determined that
specialization in one sport at an early age
was the principle cause of overuse injuries
in the joints and spinal columns as well as
osteoporosis in young athletes.
Although experts like Rosenfeld criticize
such intense activity, others argue the benefits
of keeping kids active and engaged. According
to Dr. Shelley Wimpfheimer, M.D., vice president
of Youth and Family Services of the YMCA Greater
New York, “It’s important for
children to be engaged in a structured and
supervised activity where they can find a
balance between recreation, socialization,
homework, creative arts, health and fitness.”
Schoenholtz admits that overactive children
miss a lot of the “hangout time”
that accompanies childhood, however, she also
believes that an active interest “builds
self-esteem, confidence and poise and makes
kids more capable of handling themselves in
an adult environment. It keeps kids active,
social and fit.”
While some kids are “doing it all,”
there seems to be an opposite demographic
of children who want to do nothing. Schoenhotlz
says, “Children either want to be a
triple threat or they just want to sit and
play video games,” a lifestyle that
contributes to the alarming increase in childhood
obesity in the country. Since the 1970s, the
percentage of overweight kids in the United
States has more than doubled.
In addition to keeping children fit and healthy,
an active and structured schedule for children
is correlated with higher levels of self-esteem
and academic performance, fewer behavioral
problems and lower risk of engaging in drugs
or risky sexual behavior.
But while Dr. Rosenfeld concedes that structure
and activity is valuable in moderation, he
also strongly believes, “Kids need some
time to be alone, to rehearse in their minds,
to relax and veg out, something that video
games actually do for many boys. It may be
their one Zen experience where they can get
away from the pressures and actually feel
centered.”
Many experts feel that this delicate balance
of structured and unstructured play is the
responsibility of the parents. Dr. Wimpfheimer
advises parents to: “Monitor that the
child doesn’t become so intensely involved
that it becomes exclusive. Keep a balance.”
She also reminds parents that they control
the level of involvement, not the children.
Other experts advise parents to attain this
balance by setting ground rules in terms of
how many activities a child may participate
in, per season. Also, maintain mandatory weekly
family dinners and make sure children understand
that academics and family are top priorities.
Dr. Rosenfeld also stresses that parents should
emphasize the importance of rewarding relationships,
as opposed to constantly increasing the activities
in their children’s lives.
And while exceptional teens like Michelle
Wie excel through their intense dedication
of time and energy, most kids simply need
to just be kids.
Sarah Ellis is a freelance writer and
graduate of New York University school
of journalism.
