Allison's Secret
Living with dyslexia.
by Paul B. Yellin, M.D., FAAP
PARENTGUIDE
News October 2006
Allison didn’t want to admit it, but
she definitely needed help. She’d been
there before, felt the same sense of helplessness,
confusion and silent shame, and recognized
all of the signs. Last week’s exam was
the final straw. She was sure she had failed.
In fact, she barely finished. Even though
the test was multiple choice, it seemed every
answer that Allison wrote was a guess.
As Allison walked back to her dorm room post-exam,
she could feel the buzz. Last final—
time to party! But she didn’t feel like
partying. She wanted to crawl into bed and
pull the covers over her head.
Flash back: Allison is a 4th grader and she
still CAN’T READ! She hears the laughter,
the name they called her, when Allison became
“Allis-Dumb!”
Sadness changes to happiness when Allison
then remembers how special she had felt each
time she came home from school. One day, music
would be playing in the kitchen— her
siblings were having a parade! Another day,
a family trip to the art museum. Allison loved
the art museum, especially the Impressionists,
and the guessing game she would play with
Mom. Her Mom would show her one small part
of a painting, and Allison would guess the
artist. How could her Mom really believe that
Allison was the “smartest 4th grader
in the world?” But she did.
Back to reality. Now Allison is a medical
student with dyslexia. She kept it together
until today. But now, on the brink of failing
a crucial exam, Allison fears she’ll
become the laughing stock of med school and
everyone will find out about her learning
disability! What will the school do? Kick
her out?
“Deep breath, think, think,” Allison
demands of herself. “Mom always had
faith in me. And I really am smart. I knew
the test material. I just had trouble with
the code! Everyone else seemed to know it
automatically, but I just could not wrap my
mind around how all the sounds and letters
worked.”
To Allison, opening a book always felt like
walking into a party where everyone looked
vaguely familiar— she just couldn’t
remember anyone’s name. It was embarrassing.
Allison’s Mom, however, never stopped
believing, nor did Ms. Jones, the reading
specialist in 4th grade. Ms. Jones told Allison
that her reading problem had nothing to do
with intelligence. The specialist even said
she believed that Allison was one of the best
thinkers in her class, not to mention one
of the best artists. Even when reading was
a nightmare, there was art. From visiting
the museum with Mom to winning in creative
scavenger hunts with friends, Allison always
found an escape from her embarrassing secret—
dyslexia— through art.
And when Allison was not immersed in art,
Ms. Jones helped the 4th grader use some good
reading strategies, helped her get better
at working with letters and sounds, and showed
her how to use her good thinking and vocabulary
to figure out words. And then there were the
books on tape, allowing Allison to keep up
with her class and enjoy books while she worked
on reading skills by listening to the sounds
of words.
Suddenly Allison knew what she had to do.
She remembered the kind-faced dean of students
who spoke at orientation. What did he say?
Oh yeah, he knew that even great doctors can
struggle in medical school. He said he had
a friend, another doctor, who helped struggling
medical students find the best strategies
for success. She made an appointment to see
him.
Yes, she’d been there before. It was
not time to give up. Just time to find the
next strategy.
October is National Learning Disability Month.
Make a pledge to yourself to take command
of your dyslexia now, or whatever learning
disability you have, so you don’t continue
to suffer and feel ashamed of your feelings
of confusion and helplessness.
To learn more about learning disabilities
and how to respond, check out LD Online, a
leading Web site on learning disabilities,
learning disorders and differences, at www.ldonline.org.
Two other sites by non-profit organizations
with a wealth of helpful material about learning
differences include www.allkindsofminds.org
and www.schwablearning.org. For information
and resources specific to dyslexia, log on
to the Web site for The International Dyslexia
Association (IDA), the nation’s oldest
learning disabilities organization, at www.interdys.org.
Paul B. Yellin M.D., FAAP is national director
for Clinical Programs for All Kinds of Minds,
a non-profit institute dedicated to helping
students who struggle in school and life by
providing programs that integrate educational,
scientific and clinical expertise. Dr. Yellin
is also a clinical associate professor of
pediatrics at NYU School of Medicine, a fellow
of the American Academy of Pediatrics, past
president of that organization’s New
York Chapter 3, and current chair of the organization’s
New York State Task Force on Pediatrics and
Childhood Learning Differences.
