Anxious about Academics?
Six steps to less stress.
by Roni Cohen-Sandler
TWEENS & TEENS News February 2007
You’ve got a Spanish test tomorrow,
bio and history tests the next day, and your
English teacher wants an outline for your
term paper— which you haven’t
even had time to think about. Plus, this week
you’ve got basketball practice every
day after school, a yearbook meeting and tryouts
for special chorus. You’re totally exhausted.
There’s no way you’ll ever be
able to do everything you want and need to
achieve— let alone get enough sleep.
Yup, you’re definitely super stressed
out!
The good news: You are not alone. Most students
in middle and high school report too much
or way too much stress. And, when parents
and teachers don’t seem to understand
your anxiety, stress really soars. But there’s
more good news. Although you can’t completely
avoid stress, you don’t have to let
it overwhelm you. There’s a ton you
can do so that you’re not rushing around,
totally cranky, nodding off in math class
or suffering monster headaches. Here are six
steps that help to reduce stress.
1. Take control.
You’ve got no say over how much homework
your teachers heap on you or whether your
coach schedules an extra practice. So take
charge of whatever you can control.
For starters, consider your activities. Are
you too busy? It’s tempting to sign
up for fun things, and it’s flattering
to take on responsibilities when your friends
or teachers tell you how great you are. Also,
everyone says activities rock the college
resume. But be realistic. You can’t
do everything— and still get your work
done, eat and sleep. Have at least one day
when you can come straight home from school
and relax.
Next, are your activities right for you? Make
sure you’re doing what you love, what
you’re good at and what you value. If
not, consider a change. Don’t stick
with soccer or violin just because you’ve
done it since you were 3 years old. Take a
risk. Try whatever intrigues you. You never
know when a sport or club will become a lifelong
passion.
When scheduling your course load, pick the
right level classes for you (not to be with
your best friend or to look good for admission’s
people at college). If you are a person who
would rather spend time participating in sports
activities after school or chatting online,
nix the time-consuming honors classes. And
if you have the option, make sure you have
at least one free period during the day to
take a break, make up a test, see a teacher
or study.
2. Aim for balance.
Believe it or not, life shouldn’t be
all work. Successful people balance work with
play and, yes, even rest. It’s smart
to get your work done. Set aside specific
time— right after school, at night,
in the mornings— whatever works for
you. Unless you’re a dynamo under pressure,
don’t procrastinate. Falling behind
increases pressure; you can’t concentrate
if you are constantly worrying about getting
something done. Don’t hunch over your
Mac computer or algebra textbook for hours
on end. Take brief breaks. Set Mom’s
egg timer if you must. Doodle, write a poem
or rap lyrics, or just daydream. When you
return to your task at hand, cross off the
task from your “to do” list as
you finish it.
Play is important, too. Seriously. Taking
just ten or 15 minutes a day to do something
active, such as pet your dog, listen to a
CD, throw around a football, jog or meditate,
melts stress away. Use self-discipline to
limit yourself when it comes to playing video
games or surfing the Internet. Remember, it’s
all about maintaining balance and staying
active!
Don’t forget to rest. Maybe you stay
up all hours to get your work done, and when
you finally crash after midnight your brain
won’t stop whirring. Skipping sleep
to study more before a test actually prevents
you from doing well. Brains need rest to form
memories— to help you remember those
names, dates and formulas. Exhaustion prevents
you from thinking straight, much less creatively.
Besides, you are apt to make mistakes on tests
with a poor night’s rest. (Someone who
pulls an all-nighter has the same mental power
as a legally drunk person!) So if it’s
late and you’ve got a big test, it’s
wiser to get some shut-eye, rather than to
caffeinate and keep studying.
3. Maintain a positive attitude.
How well you handle pressure depends on your
attitude. If you think you can cope, you’re
more likely to cope.
First, make sure your expectations are realistic.
You can’t be great at every single thing
you do. Recognize your strengths— self-confidence
goes the distance. Forget comparing yourself
to high-flying friends and siblings. There
will always be people who do better on tests
or appear smarter or better looking. So what?
If you think someone else is perfect, you
don’t know him or her very well. Stop
worrying about your flaws and focus on your
strengths. Highly achieving people say success
is five percent talent and 95 percent hard
work. Get busy!
Mistakes? Don’t beat yourself up over
them. Not only do they happen to everyone,
they also can pay off big time. Mistakes help
you learn new ways to approach problems and
can lead to incredible ideas. Some of the
best inventions were created by accident.
Think Post-it notes.
When you see a 72 percent on a quiz you thought
you’d aced, don’t overreact—
it will just elevate your stress. Staying
calm and figuring out where you went wrong
is part of learning. Even after truly awful
days, remember that you’ll wake up tomorrow
and start fresh!
4. Monitor your stress.
Watch out for stressful times like the beginning
of the school year when you’re getting
used to new schedules and teachers; crunch
times like midterms, finals, play tryouts
and sports championships; and unexpected crises
in your personal life. Say you get mono and
miss school, your best friend has a problem
or something is awry at home. Take a deep
breath and know you’ll get through the
hardship.
Also, stress can just sneak up on you. Notice
the signs before anxiety spirals out of control.
Are you snapping at everyone in sight? Is
your stomach hurting? Do you feel glued to
the couch? Are you raiding the fridge every
five minutes— or forgetting to eat?
If so, cut back where you can. Drop jazz quartet
or debate team for now. Put off extra jobs.
Try to be extra kind to yourself. And of course,
get more sleep!
5. Don’t fret about college.
Planning ahead is good, but stressing about
college when you’re 10 years old is
going overboard. True, parents and teachers
talk about getting into college to motivate
you to be serious about school and to do your
best work. However, worrying about getting
into the “right” college, which
one-third of middle schoolers and two-thirds
of high school students say they do, is a
waste of energy. Adolescence should not be
considered the pre-college years. Instead,
concentrate on what intrigues you, what you
find satisfying and inspiring, and where you
show talent. Become an expert on managing
your time well, being efficient and getting
things done. The rest will fall into place.
6. Find help.
If you’re stressed out, don’t
hide your anxiety or ignore it and hope it
goes away. There is no shame in getting help!
Talk to your parents. Sure, they want you
to do well— but they also want you to
be healthy and happy. If your parents are
contributing to your stress, let them know.
For example, if they bombard you with questions
the minute you walk through the door, say:
“Would it be alright if we talked a
little later? I’m really fried and need
to chill first.” Or if your Dad tells
you what you should do about your bombed test,
say, “Thanks, I’ll need to figure
out the best way for me to improve.”
Maybe that means seeing your teacher before
school, during a free period or after school
when you feel more awake. Get feedback about
what you did right as well as what you did
wrong on the test and, especially, how to
improve. It’s fine to ask, “What
do I have to do to get a better grade on my
research paper?” or “How do you
suggest tackling these confusing true/false
questions?” Maybe in addition to seeking
extra help from a teacher, you will ask a
classmate to go over things with you or you
will get a professional tutor. If you’re
still feeling overwhelmed, see your guidance
counselor to discuss your troubles. Maybe
you can switch to a less demanding class or
put off a requirement for now.
Even if you do all of the above, you’ll
probably still be stressed out on occasion.
Yet, if you get to know yourself well, figure
out what you need to do to relax and make
good choices, then you will become a pro at
managing things and your stress level. Also,
you’ll have more energy and feel great
about what you accomplish. So don’t
accept stress as something you have to, well,
stress about. Conquer it before it conquers
you.
Roni Cohen-Sandler is the author of
Stressed-out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in
the Age of Pressure (Viking Adult), as well
as the bestselling I’m Not Mad, I Just
Hate You! and Trust Me, Mom— Everyone
Else is Going! (Penguin). She is a frequent
guest on national television and speaks nationwide
to parent groups, educators and teens about
how to reduce harmful stress.
