Special Occasions Solved
A Q&A on essential party etiquette.
by Penny Warner

TWEENS & TEENS News February 2008

Tweens and teens love to party! And no wonder. Parties are one of the perks of life, encouraging a time to gather with good friends, laugh, act silly, play games and just enjoy each other’s company. Still, there are rules of etiquette when it comes to hosting and attending a party. To prevent you from making a major party foul, here are some tips to keep you on guest lists!

Hosting a Party

Q: How do I create a guest list without hurting anyone’s feelings?

A: This is always a problem when it comes to planning a party. You want to gather a fun group of guests, but you don’t want to over invite, or the party may turn into chaos. Decide on your core group— good friends who will get along and respect your rules. Then, think about whether you have room for others. Just be sure to privately invite your guests, whether by written invitations or personal phone calls. This way, those not invited won’t feel bad.

Q: How do I handle guests who don’t RSVP?

A: If some of the people you have chosen to invite don’t get back to you in your designated time frame, feel free to call them. You can say something like, “I just wanted to make sure you got the invitation.” This often solicits an apology for forgetting to RSVP and a quick response whether the people questioned can attend.

Q: How do I keep the party under control?

A: Go over the rules at least a week ahead of the party with your parents, then write the rules on poster board. Post the rules on the refrigerator, the bathroom door or any other place your guests will see them. Have fun with this, but make sure your guests know you’re serious. For example, if one of your rules is “No crank calls” you might add “(my Dad might be listening in).” At the bottom of the list add, “Warning! My parents may walk in anytime!” Additional suggestions for rules to post include no drinking, drugs or smoking; no leaving the party early; no hurting anyone’s feelings; no mean practical jokes; no ordering 200 pizzas for the school principal.

Q: How do I handle neighbors who might complain about loud music?

A: No brainer— turn down the volume. Do a sound check about 20 minutes before party time by going outside and checking if you can hear some music or a radio station you plan to play. Also, inform the neighbors that you’re having a party. Tell them when the party will end and that you hope they won’t mind a little noise until then.

Q: What do I do if uninvited guests show up?

A: First, try to prevent uninvited guests by asking your guests not to spread the word about the party— or your parents may cancel it. If party crashers do arrive, alert your parents immediately. They might have to call the police if the crashers don’t leave.

Attending A Party

Q: How much should I spend on a gift for the guest of honor?

A: You don’t need to use your whole allowance to show your friend you care. Remember, “It’s the thought that counts.” Consider your budget, then try to find something special within that range. Think about the party host’s hobbies, interests or musical likes to inspire gift ideas. Better yet, create something yourself, such as a customized mixed CD. To make it extraordinary, tie the gift with a festive bouquet of colorful balloons.

Q: What if the party I’m attending gets out of hand and I want to leave?

A: Sometimes parties take a turn that you may not be comfortable with. Perhaps guests are drinking, the parents aren’t home or there are uninvited party crashers. Call your parents immediately and ask them to pick you up. If you don’t want to reveal the real reason for leaving, you can save face by telling the host you’re not feeling well and need to go home.

Q: Do I really have to write a post-party thank-you note?

A: These days, most guests thank party hosts in some way. If the invitation to the party was an e-vite, then perhaps send an electronic thank you in the form of a free e-card or a gracious e-mail. If the invitation was mailed, return your thanks with a handmade or store-bought card.

Resident party expert for Balloon Time, Penny Warner has more than 25 years of experience as an author and party planner. She has published more than 50 books, including 16 specific to parties. Additionally, Warner wrote a weekly newspaper column on family life for 11 years, penned a column for Sesame Street Parents magazine and has appeared on several regional and national TV morning programs. Balloon Time kits feature a helium-filled tank, latex or foil balloons and ribbon, and are available at mass merchant, party goods and grocery stores nationwide. For more information, visit www.balloontime.com.